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What does it mean if you lead someone on

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Can you really fault the guy for actually listening to you and taking you seriously? I also began to surround myself with things I truly loved, like my family, loyal friends and time spent alone.

Don't take advantage of someone physically because you know that they have feelings for you. Was it something I did or said? Leading someone on is pretending to offer something that you have no intention of offering.

lead on

There are few things worse than finding out the guy or girl you thought was really into you actually couldn't care less. It's hard not to feel deflated when weeks or months of texting, talking and hooking up results in a big fat nothing. It's horrible when something that you thought was valuable and important turns out to be a joke to someone else. We all know how much this feeling sucks, so why is it that we still go around leading people on? Falling for people isn't exactly hard. After all, the heart wants what it wants. The process is made even easier when someone seems to be reciprocating feelings or interest. So imagine the massive letdown when it is discovered that the feelings are one-sided. Being led on makes coming to terms with the end of a romantic relationship — or lack thereof — extremely difficult, because what seemed to be something exciting and promising turns out to be a bust for no apparent rhyme or reason. The person left behind often wants to know what happened that changed the mind of the other individual. Was it something I did or said? Is there someone else? What did I do wrong? How can I make it better? It's never OK to make someone believe you care for them and want to be with them when you're only looking for a casual hookup at most. Don't be one of those people who lets weekly phone calls and goodnight texts turn into unanswered voicemails and ignored messages. Don't tell someone you care when you know that they hardly cross your mind. Don't take advantage of someone physically because you know that they have feelings for you. Say what you mean, not what you think they want to hear. Faking feelings is cruel. Do us all a favor and simply be honest from the get-go about your intentions in a romantic relationship. Even if you perceive it to be harmless and casual, the other person may be taking it far more seriously. Intent and feelings should be addressed at the beginning, not down the line when someone can truly get hurt. In fact, I'm thankful for it because it helped me learn to stand up for myself and know my own worth. While we were together, I left everything up to other people. I let everyone around me, including you, tell me what to like, what to dislike, what to wear, how to act, and who to be. People could treat me however they wanted, and I never contested it. I was never really myself, mostly because I didn't know how to be. I had to rebuild myself from the ground up. Without you, I was forced to find other places to find my worth. I tried placing it in fake friends, grades, hobbies, and other men I thought would be as important to me as you. None of that was satisfying because all of those things greatly disappointed me at one point or another. Ultimately, I had to make the choice to put my whole being into a God who loves me unconditionally and will never leave me desolate. I also began to surround myself with things I truly loved, like my family, loyal friends and time spent alone. Learning to be myself again and unapologetically enjoy life was a growing experience I never could've anticipated, but one I am so grateful for. If not for your unfaithfulness, I wouldn't be the individual I am today. I would still be completely focused on others' approval. The people around me would still hold the reins to my life. You are a treasure to God, your family, your friends, and people you don't even know yet. Give yourself a chance to re-evaluate, reinvent, and grow from this experience. You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. No amount of people-pleasing will force someone to love you, so learn to be yourself always. You never have to put up with being used, abused or mistreated. You are cherished more than you'll ever know, so let unnecessary baggage go and live like you're loved. Keep Reading For two years, I watched my friends with benefits fall in love with other girls. And I wondered why none of them ever loved me. When I chose this lifestyle, I wasn't seeking a relationship—clearly. I wasn't completely closed off to the idea, despite my lingering heartache, but it wasn't something I initially desired. That also meant I didn't anticipate any of my FWBs wanting relationships either, much less falling in love. Regardless, I envied the girls who singlehandedly convinced each of them to abandon a lifestyle they previously so desired, while wondering what it was about me that couldn't entice them to do the same. To be quite honest, all of these relationships exceeded my expectations in their beginnings. Over time, I watched these boys truly love and fall in love with their girls. But alas, nothing is perfect and everyone is toxic in their own way. These relationships, like so many others, had their highs and almost equally as many lows, which only continued to make me wonder what about these girls was so worth the emotional scarring. It broke my heart that they found respite in someone and something so lackluster. We're hosts to an undying vice that acknowledges the necessity of escape, but simultaneously convinces us there isn't the possibility of one. I understood this so deeply, and the familiarity of their situations only wrung my heart. Despite caring for a couple of these boys more than I cared for the others, I was never in love with any of them. Perhaps that's one of the reasons they couldn't love me. Regardless, it means my intent was never to replace any of the girls. Curiosity really did kill the cat. Don't be mistaken—I have loved, and I've also been loved before. So it's not that I think I'm unworthy. But as I continued to learn more about these far-from-perfect relationships, I wanted answers. I was, and sometimes still am, suspended in turmoil, harboring a genuine curiosity for where these boys found fault in me and why they couldn't look past those flaws. Today's nature would lead me to believe I just wasn't pretty enough for them. Or maybe I tried too hard or cared too much. Whatever the case, it doesn't matter because in some way, shape, or form, I just wasn't enough for any of those boys. You can't win 'em all, but after all the time we invested in each other, I just wanted to know why I wasn't any of their first choices. Despite it all, whether or not their relationships at the time are still currently active, I'm at ease knowing they are capable of love. It's silly, but considering their undying habits, it's true. And I hope that one day, they find girls who will encourage them to leave those habits behind for good.

So imagine the massive letdown when it is discovered that the feelings are one-sided. The same is true with elements who are diagnosed as psychopaths. And I wondered why none of them ever loved me. All dogs must be kept on a lead. Learning to be myself again and unapologetically enjoy life was a growing experience I never could've anticipated, but one I am so glad for. It is intentional in many cases. We all know how much this feeling sucks, so why is it that we still go around leading people on?.

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released December 17, 2018

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idinjeaga Salem, Massachusetts

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